Get the best picture possible before you commit to living together.
No matter if you’re planning to live with someone you know or a total stranger, it helps to prepare a list of questions to ask a potential roommate. How they answer your questions will give you an idea of what it may be like living together. Here are several to consider:
1. What is your daily routine like?
Understanding a potential roommate’s daily routine can help you figure out if you have compatible lifestyles and habits. It can reveal potential conflicts or even great sync-ups in schedules, such as sleep patterns, work hours, and social activities.
2. Do you have a partner?
If the answer is yes, ask how often they’ll be over. Are you okay with them being around a lot? If the answer is no, ask if they’ll ever bring dates over. Is that okay with you? And if you have a partner, you should disclose the same information, and maybe even what they’re like so your roommate can decide if they want that person around.
3. How do you feel about sharing things like food and cleaning supplies?
There are very, very few situations where you won’t have to share something with your roommate, be it the kitchen, living room, or bathroom. But ask yourself, where do you draw the line? And where do they? And if one of you is craving a couple of the other’s cookies, what’s your ideal protocol?
4. What are some things you definitely don’t want me to touch or use?
Respecting each other’s boundaries is one of the most important rules for living with someone. Think of something you cherish, be it a piece of jewelry, furniture, or decor. How would you feel if you found out your roommate was using it? Think of how they would feel about their own belongings. Ask this question with the intention of respecting their answer, and expecting the same in return.
5. Do you have a steady job or source of income?
You don’t want to be left scrambling to pay the bills if your roommate can’t afford to pay their portion. If you really want to make sure they’re being honest, you could ask for proof like a bank statement or a reference from their work.
6. Do you like hosting parties or having people over?
This is something you two need to agree on, or at least be very okay with disagreeing on. Having several people over and bumping loud music when the other person is trying to study or sleep for work in the morning can lead to disaster.
7. What are some things you like to do when you’re winding down?
Do they like to read in silence before bed, while you prefer to play your favorite album fairly loudly? Those differences may not jive. You should each have rituals that don’t trample on the others’ habits.
8. How do you feel about sharing household chores?
Should one person do all the dishes and the other take out all the trash? Or should things be split in a certain way? You could even work out a deal where one person does it all for a whole week or month, and you take turns. Just make sure you agree on the best approach.
9. Do you have any pets?
Even though you may love your pet, not everyone will feel the same. Don’t sign anyone up for living with an animal without their consent. If someone does have a pet, establish who will feed it, walk it, clean after it, etc. Usually, that will be on the owner. And don’t try to hide your pet from your roommate; it’s an argument waiting to happen.
10. Are you a smoker?
If one person is a smoker and another is not, the lingering scent of cigarette smoke can be unpleasant for the non-smoker. They may want the smoker to stay far away from the home when they do want to smoke, and maybe the smoker doesn’t want that.
11. How do you handle conflicts or disagreements?
This answer is crucial for understanding each other’s communication style and methods for conflict resolution. You want to be sure you can both address issues constructively and maintain peace at home. It’s important to ensure that any future disagreements can be resolved amicably, so you can prevent any long-term tension.
12. What are your hobbies and interests?
Are your lifestyles compatible? Do you have any shared interests? This can help you build a friendly relationship so you can enjoy living together. You could even become friends if you’re into the same things.
13. How long do you plan on staying?
Having a rotating door of roommates can be stressful. Or maybe you prefer it that way. In either case, it’s good context to know when each of you might move on so you can plan to look for a new roomie ahead of time. You can help them do the same if you’re the one who’s leaving first.
14. What is your typical work schedule?
Knowing this can help you coordinate shared spaces and manage noise levels. Having one person get home from work at 6 a.m. and needing to use the bathroom while the other is waking up and getting ready for their day can cause problems.
15. Do you prefer a quiet or lively home environment?
This is another question that can help you see if your lifestyles line up. Some people prefer a quiet space to relax or work, while others enjoy a more social and active environment. Make sure you two want the same thing.
16. How often do you like to go out?
This is one way to gauge how often the apartment will be occupied (by your roommate and/or their guests) and to understand your potential roommate’s social habits. If you’d rather not live with a club-goer, that’s fine. And if you’re a club-goer, be honest about it.
17. What temperature settings do you prefer at home?
Since you’ll be sharing your space, you need to agree on what feels comfortable for you both. Avoid a hot and cold relationship (pun intended) by asking about this.
18. Do you have any allergies?
Yes, this applies to animals, medicine like penicillin, and food. This way you can be aware of any health concerns that might call for accommodations, like avoiding certain foods or products in the home.
19. What are your expectations for noise levels during weekdays and weekends?
If you two take differing approaches to how weekends should be spent, some trouble is bound to arise. Perhaps the weekend is someone’s only time to rest, which means peace and quiet. Or maybe it’s someone’s only time to party, which equals loud music and laughter.
20. What furniture or appliances can you bring to the apartment?
This can help you both get an idea of what needs to be purchased. If you have zero furniture but they have enough for a living room and maybe a couple bedrooms, this could be a good deal for you. Maybe they have an air fryer and you’d love to share. Then you’ve got a roommate and some crunchy nuggets in your future.
21. Do you have references from previous roommates or landlords?
If so, consider reaching out to people they’ve lived with before so you can assess their reliability as well as compatibility as a roommate. If they insist they’ve only ever had bad roommates, but they’ve never been the problem themselves, you may want to ask yourself why that is.
22. What’s your policy on borrowing personal items?
Some roommates share hair products, gaming consoles, and even clothes. Whether or not you are one of these people, you should know where your roommate stands so you’ll both be able to respect the others’ belongings.
23. What do you think makes a good roommate?
Their answer here can be very telling. If they describe features that are nothing like yours, maybe this living arrangement won’t be a good fit. If they describe some of your own habits or personality traits, this might work if you want to give it a try. How they answer could also be a reflection of how they would be as a roomie.
24. What are your views on security and locking doors?
Feeling safe in your home is a big deal. If you’re the type to triple check that every door is locked and every window is shut, you probably want a roommate who is good about locking things on their way out or when they get home. Or if you’re more lax about this, you might not want to live with someone who’s too uptight about it.
25. Do you have any lifestyle habits I should know about?
This is a wide-encompassing question that could make you aware of any habits that might impact you living together, like smoking, late-night schedules, or dietary needs.
26. How do you handle stress or a bad day?
The odds of living with someone and neither of you ever having a less-than-great day are very low. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who may pass their stress along to you, who is quick to anger, or who might even take out their frustrations physically.
27. What are your thoughts on privacy?
What’s their policy on knocking? Some people might prefer to have the bathroom to themselves when getting ready, or might want their bedroom to be a strictly private space. This can also shed light on how often each of you is okay with having other people in your home.
28. How do you feel about splitting bills and rent?
Definitely get a clear idea on this. Disagreeing on financial responsibilities and who should do what can risk leaving you scrambling to pay the bills if they don’t want to meet you halfway. Or maybe you can take turns every month, switching off who pays a specific bill or all of them.
29. What are your thoughts on alcohol and drug use?
Knowing what to expect here can promote a safer and more comfortable home for everyone. Discuss things like how often they drink at home and establish what you’re comfortable with ahead of moving in with a potential roommate to avoid conflicts down the road.
30. Do you have a reliable method of transportation?
If not, would they need your help in getting to work, school, or appointments? Would you be willing to do that? And if they do have a reliable car or take public transit, what would their plan be if their usual means of transportation wasn’t available?
31. What is your policy on sharing spaces like the living room or kitchen?
Having a territorial roommate who wants the living room to themselves while you’re home might be an issue for you, or it might not. And if you don’t want anyone in your way when you’re making dinner, it’s good to make that known.
32. How do you feel about decorating shared spaces?
You both want to enjoy the space where you live. For you, that might mean bare walls or minimal design. For them, it may mean a gallery wall and new coats of paint on every surface. These are two pretty different visions, so make sure you can land on the same page there.
33. How often do you engage in recreational activities at home, like gaming or watching movies?
In other words, “How often will you be glued to the TV in your room or in our shared living room?” If you ask this, or really any question on this list, that means the answer matters to you. Would your roommate doing these things for hours on end bother you? Or would you see it as a chance to bond?
34. Do you have regular habits that might affect others, like playing musical instruments or exercising at home?
While live music can be a beautiful thing to experience, listening to someone try to learn how to play the guitar on a daily basis could become grating. Or the sound of jumping jacks on and off could annoy you (or your roommate) as well.
35. What is your stance on environmental sustainability practices within the home?
Do you want to recycle? And should your roommate have to as well? What about composting? And are you against single-use plastics like water bottles? Does that mean you’d prefer it if your roommate didn’t buy any cases of water? Talk this out if it’s important to you – or don’t, and move on to the next candidate if your values don’t match up.
With every question you ask and every answer you get, listen to your gut. Reflect before the interview on what you want, and after the interview on what living with this person would be like. Remember, if their answers aren’t what you’re looking for, you don’t have to live with them. After all, there are numerous ways to find a roommate — and there’s one out there who is a good fit for you.